Jason F.C. Clarke

Author: jasonfcclarke_1vr8vl

  • R’lyeh has risen! Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!

    Mariners report new island in South Pacific

    WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) — A new volcanic island has risen from the South Pacific near Tonga, according to reports from two vessels that passed the area.

    The crew of the Maiken, a yacht that left the northern Tongan islands group of Vava’u in August, reported on their Web log on August 12 that they saw streaks of light, porous pumice stone floating in the water — then “sailed into a vast, many-miles-wide belt of densely packed pumice.”

    This is it, people—the stars are right! As predicted in The Necronomicon, R’lyeh has risen and soon dread Cthulhu will lay waste to the earth. Your only hope is to be eaten first! Pray to be consumed quickly by the Bloated One and his hideous spawn! Ia! Ia! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

  • Block Writer

    I’d intended to work on Vengeance Upon the Dust today (incidentally, I’ve come to dislike that title and will probably change it), but as usual, I found myself too distracted to get anything done. After watching the second half of Hitch, going to the convenience store, and spending some time with DG, I sat down at my computer, ready to let the creative juices flow.

    Soon I was surfing Wikipedia and playing Doom 3. Such is the plight of the aspiring writer in the twenty-first century.
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  • Dawn of the Dead (2004)

    So I finally watched Zack Snyder’s 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead. It was interesting to watch Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead after having recently watched all of Romero’s films, as well as Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later…. I enjoyed the latter, though I admit it didn’t really feel like a zombie film, and the same could be said for Dawn of the Dead ’04. Other than the fact that the “Infected” of 28 Days Later… can be killed like any human while the zombies of Dawn have to have their brain destroyed, there’s hardly any difference between the portrayal of the monsters—they’re fast-moving, violent, cannibalistic savages.
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  • Halloween Grab Bag

    Unsurprisingly, our big winner for most comments in October was Ed. Ed has decided to forego the actual Halloween Grab Bag prize in favor of mad props. So, mad props to Ed for his superior ability to run up his comment count.

    Still working on Vengeance Upon the Dust, which I think is officially a novella and not a short story. However, I owe it to you all to finish it, and will do my best to do so as soon as possible. I’ve pulled the previous chapters off the site for a few reasons. First, I’ve already done some revising and the website version is no longer accurate. Second, I don’t want to be continually taunting you with an unfinished story. Third, I’ve decided to issue the completed story as a PDF chapbook (I’ll have alternate versions if you can’t read PDFs) rather than post it here. This way, I’ll have the option of publishing it professionally in the future (if I can interest anyone in it).

    However, all my faithful readers here will get a copy of the chapbook if they want it. I’ll even mail a paper copy of it upon request.

  • Happy Halloween!

    Just wanted to wish everyone a very happy Halloween. It’s funny how anticlimactic Halloween is when it doesn’t fall on a Friday or Saturday night, so you end up going to your big costume party the weekend before.

    Well, assuming I get the last part of Vengeance Upon the Dust up today, I’ll have made it. Thirty-one brand-new posts and not a single day missed. Not too shabby.

    That doesn’t mean I’ll be resting on my laurels tomorrow, though. Well, maybe for a few days. But there’s a big change a-brewin’ here at BBn, and I think most of you will like it. Until then, go out and find the most sincere pumpkin patch you can, crack a cold one and await the Great Pumpkin. He’s coming this year, I just know it.

  • Intermission

    I thought I’d take a break from Vengeance Upon the Dust (it looks like the story will finish up Halloween Month) and provide something a little lighter before the month was out.

    I had intended to do a big retrospective on the history of my Halloween costumes over the years, starting when I was a wee tyke, but it looks like I’ll have to save that for next year (which is good, since I can pretty much guarantee I won’t be doing this again—so it’s good to have a big-ticket item to run next October). I’ve been so busy I didn’t even get a chance to carve a pumpkin.

    So instead, I thought I’d provide you with a photo of the costumes DG and I wore to a Halloween party last night…and the lengths to which I went in the name of costume accuracy.
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  • All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Scary Movies

    I’m still working frantically to finish the short story for tomorrow, and as such, I ended up one post short. However, in the interests of fulfilling my promise of a post every single day this month, I’m going to hand the blood-stained rudder over to Kate Racculia of Marquee de Sade. The lovely Kate also drew the initial sketches for both the regular Biggerboat logo and the Halloween variant. Today she’s going to enlighten us as to how scary movies have changed her life. Enjoy!

    All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Scary Movies


    10. Priests are sexy.


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  • Spaced Invaders

    Ah, good. After my brief bout of insanity reviewing a good movie yesterday, I’ll return to reviewing films most people haven’t heard of.

    Today’s gem is the 1990 children’s flick Spaced Invaders. I haven’t the foggiest notion when I first saw this—it might have been at the theater, but I think it was probably on HBO or something, since I distinctly remember my father cracking up while watching it at home. The film is a comedy about five Martians who accidentally crash-land in a small town on Halloween night. Chaos—and hilarity!—ensues.

    Captain Bipto

    The aliens, led by the Napoleonic Captain Bipto, include the mad scientist Dr. Ziplock (har har), the Jack Nicholson imitator Blaznee, the hyperactive Giggywig, and Pez, whom I don’t remember anything about. The Martians crashed after overhearing a broadcast of Orson Welles’ famous War of the Worlds radio show and thinking the Martian fleet was attacking Earth.
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  • Comments anyone?

    I just wanted to mention, it’s okay to comment on the Halloween posts. I’m not preserving them for posterity or anything.

    I’m pushing out close to a thousand words a day; it would be good to have something more than my Web statistics to know people are reading. Even if you just want to say, “This review sucks! You suck! Sucking sucks!” That’s fine. I’ll accept any kind of attention.

    I’ll even up the ante: the person with the most October comments at the end of the month wins a special Halloweeny prize, shipped via the United States Postal Service and featuring some of today’s finest Halloween geegaws, doodads and thingamabobs. (U.S. residents only. Ryan, that means you. Sorry.)

  • Hellboy Animated

    The first Hellboy Animated movie, Hellboy: Sword of Storms, is set to debut on the Cartoon Network on Saturday, October 28th at 9:30 PM. Set those DVRs now! If you enjoyed the movie (or the comic), give it a shot. Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, and John Hurt return to voice their characters from the movie (Hellboy, Liz Sherman, and Professor Bruttenholm, respectively).